Illustrated Parrot Dictionary: Bliss

bliss

noun \ˈblis\

Definition of BLISS

1

: complete happiness

2

: paradise, heaven

Example of BLISS

Our Congo African Grey parrot Arua blissfully enjoying her bath

We're having a contest. Send us your photo submissions for our Illustrated Parrot Dictionary. If we like them we'll publish them here. And you'll receive a Parrot Cafe sweatshirt or tee shirt (sorry, size Large only) and a bag of our 100% Parrot Friendly coffee (our choice, but it's all good.) Email submissions to TheZenParrot@gmail.com. All submissions become property of The Zen Parrot. Drink more coffee! You can sleep when you're dead.

Seattle Crows: Toad Junior Model 2013

Mr Toad hanging out with our Greenwing Macaw Roxanne

We moved into our Ballard home in North Seattle in 1999. We set up a play stand out back for our Greenwing macaw and Diva parrot Roxanne. After a year or two we noticed a particular crow hanging around Roxanne. The crow was notable for one straight toe on its left foot, so easy to spot. We named the crow Mr Toad. Mr Toad seemed particularly interested in Roxanne. He would perch on the fence along Roxanne's play stand, and just sit and watch Roxanne. Her colors must fascinate him. Some times he would sit on the play stand waiting for Roxanne to come out.

Some time later we realized that Mr Toad had a Mrs Toad. A sleek and good looking lady crow. Then one summer the Toads showed up with a Toad Junior. Then every summer after they would show up to introduce the current model Toad Junior to us. And needless to say, every summer we look forward to meeting the new Junior.

Closeup of Mr Toad's toe

The Toad Family: Mrs (near) and Mr Toad, with Junior (farthest)

Juvenile crows are very needy. Very hungry. And very loud. Some are down right obnoxious. It must be tough being crow parents. Some years Junior is more obnoxious than other years. Last year was the worst of the bunch we've seen. Loud, hungry, needy, and obnoxious. Especially at 6:00 am outside our bedroom window. We wondered how the parents managed. Toad Junior Model 2013 is actually sedate by comparison.

The Toads hanging out on Roxanne's stand

We love looking out for the Toads each and every day, and we know that the Toads look for us. They usually sit outside the house and call to let us know they are there. Usually to get fed. We put discarded parrot food out for them to eat, along with the pigeons. We probably have the best fed crows in the city.

Toad Junior Model 2013

Mr and Mrs Toad, along with Toad Junior, visited us for brunch once again today. We're confident that Mr and Mrs Toad will continue to visit us, and Roxanne, each and every day. But we also know from past experience that sooner or later Toad Junior will simply disappear. As he grows up, he will eventually take off on his own to establish his own territory, and his own family. We wish the Juniors would come back to visit, but they never do. We'd love to know how they're doing.

Mr Toad often comes by the back yard just to hang out with Roxanne. Or just to hang out waiting for Roxanne to come out. We figure the Mrs must be out shopping. Or something. We know that one day Mr Toad will simply fail to show up. Crows are reputed to have a lifespan of twenty to thirty years, so we hope the Toads will continue to visit for years to come. It will be a sad day when they finally disappear.

Every once in a while we find an object on our back steps. A nail. A button. A piece of glass. Some trinket like that. We've never seen them do it, but our best guess is that the Toads drop off these tokens as appreciation for feeding them. We like to think so anyway.

Cockatoos Are Not Suitable to Be Companion Parrots

We are macaw parrot people. Our experience with cockatoo parrots is limited to our male Goffin's cockatoo, Kid Kadra, a parrot juvenile delinquent if there ever was one. Recently, we were contacted by a parrot person living outside of Seattle who is having problems dealing with her cockatoo parrot Conan. Caitlyn is an experienced parrot person. In addition to her cockatoo, she has a flock including three conures, a Meyers, and a lovebird. As Caitlyn notes: I had worked with cockatoos prior to obtaining Conan but had never lived with one. Point being, I didn't go into this with zero experience, but he's the first large parrot that I have owned.

The Ideal

In spite of her parrot experience, Caitlyn developed serious issues with Conan. She contacted us looking for advice. We are putting her story out to the cockatoo parrot people in our audience. Stories like Caitlyn's reinforce our belief that cockatoo parrots simply are not suitable to be companion parrots.

Here is Caitlyn's situation:

I have an umbrella cockatoo, Conan. He is fifteen years old, and we know little of his history but from what we've heard, we assume that we are his third home. I got him from a couple who decided to rehome him because both of them worked full time jobs and, less importantly, he was sort of a screamer.

I brought him home to my parent's house, where I will live for another couple of years to finish my degree. He was cuddly as could be, though we were careful not to cuddle too much, and he screamed about as much as expected. He was in a relatively peaceful room with the other birds at the time. After he started to scream excessively, we brought him into the dining room where there is a lot of activity all day. He stopped for a couple of weeks.

Conan comes out of his cage daily, goes for rides in the car, and is supplied with toys 24/7. He's on a diet of pellets and occasional fresh food. He interacts with all members of the household. It seems as if he should be a rather happy bird. However, his screaming is once again becoming excessive. He used to do it only when nobody was in the room with him; however, now if he's in the mood (which tends to be every other day on average), he will scream regardless of how many people are in the room. He is given a warning, "no screaming," followed by a "time out" where his cage is covered for about a minute or until he stops. We've been doing this for about a month and have seen no difference in the frequency and he never heeds the warning.

Two of us work from home and are on the phone often. We have had to give up on the phone call several times because Conan's favorite time to scream is when we are talking to someone else. If it were only me, I would grin and bear it, but it's both of my parents, too. They have been tolerant so far, but they are reaching the end of their patience.

The more recent big problem is aggression. I'd expect it in the spring, but it is mid-summer now and shouldn't be this bad. He wasn't aggressive before and the previous owners didn't mention anything about it, but in the past month he has bitten me for anything from misplaced aggression, fear, a desire to go and run around on the floor, an aversion to going back into his cage, or just seemingly out of nowhere. He continues to be sweet and sociable most of the time, but I can't have him out without expecting to be bitten at some point. I consider myself to have a high pain tolerance, and I do not get nervous around him, but I can't live with this pattern of aggression for presumably the rest of my life.

Today was the closest I've ever come to a "straw that broke the camel's back" moment. Earlier in the day he had taken a small chunk out of my finger when I attempted to fix his water bowl, but that was of little concern. Later, I came home from errands and opened his cage, intending to take him out for a while. Instead of happily stepping out like normal, he lunged at my hand in a way that absolutely cannot be mistaken for anything but aggression. I've had him use his beak to balance before, and it's very different - this time his crest shot up and his tail fanned out and he jumped at me. On the floor, he ran after my feet, and when I crouched down to try to coax him onto my hand he lunged at my hands once again. I sat on a barstool while he climbed back up onto his cage. Completely confident in the notion that he would now step up from his cage (as he has done for the six months or so that we have had him. Even if he is grumpy on the floor, he always comes nicely from any spot on top of his cage) I walked over and offered him my arm in a deliberately slow way so he would not get excited. With no warning, he jumped at my head/chest/arm and when he missed, climbed back into his cage, proceeding to try to take off my fingers as I locked the cage door.

I just don't know what to do now. If this continues for even another day, it's going to become very hard to take care of him. As I said, I can't live with a large bird that behaves this way and I can't subject my family to it for another two years. I think if it was just the screaming, it might be manageable, but the biting has caused me to seriously think about whether I can keep him. I believe 100% in giving my birds a forever home, but maybe I'm in over my head with Conan. Obviously I'm at my wit's end, since I'm looking up rescues in the area. I really don't want to rehome him just so that yet another family can decide that he is too high maintenance; at the same time, I question whether this is the best place for him. He can't be happy if he's acting this way.

The Reality

I would really appreciate your advice on the matter. Giving him up is a last resort, but we're getting to that point.

Any advice for Caitlyn and Conan? We promise to pass it on.

Disposable Parrots, Part Two

Get tired of your parrot? Just leave him behind and move out.

Sunny is a presumed male Blue Crowned Conure parrot approximately ten years old. Sunny's caretaker reports:

I arrived home in Seattle from vacation to find that my roommate, Sunny's parront, had left town and abandoned his bird. I cannot care for the bird and need to find a foster family for this bird as soon as possible. My roommate appears to have had some kind of mental health breakdown and has not contacted me, any family, or any mutual friends since he left. He has forfeited the parrot's care. 

Sunny is friendly and has always been friendly around people. I have been living with this bird for about six months and he will step on my finger when told "step up," fly to my shoulder, and return to his cage. He is a bit lazy and doesn't fly far. He had a Green-cheeked Conure sharing his cage for many years, and the little bird plucked out his feathers. He plucks too. He has been fine around my dog and only nips or screams when frightened. He says "hi" most often. I think he knows other words but he mostly just makes noises.

Postscript: Sunny's caretaker contacted Northwest Parrots Fund, a 501(c)3 nonprofit charity in Seattle dedicated to finding homes for unwanted and homeless parrots. Northwest Parrots was able to place Sunny in a happy parrot home with a flock of parrots including another Blue Crowned Conure parrot.

How Hot Is It?

How hot is it in Seattle? This hot:

Our Goffin's Cockatoo parrot Kid Kadra trying to cool off

If At First You Don't Succeed

Sometimes, perseverance pays off. At least our Congo African Grey parrot Arua seems to believe so. If there's a will. There's a way. Or something like that.

Our Congo African Grey parrot Arua is the spokesparrot for TheParrotCafe.com's very own Red Tail Brand Ethiopia Sidamo coffee. Celebrating Ethiopia, the Birthplace of Coffee. An African parrot promoting an African coffee.

Arua is featured on our official Red Tail Brand coffee tee. Like it?
You can get one here: TheParrotCafe.com Red Tail Brand Coffee Tees

The Secret Soviet Plot to Bring Down the United States

And It's Been Spectacularly Successful!

Moscow's Red Square. State Historical Museum Center Right

In case you haven't noticed, we haven't posted on our blog The Zen Parrot for several weeks because we've been away on a trip of a lifetime. We've been off to visit the Old Country. Russia, that is.

Our family, on our father's side, comes from a long line of fervent monarchists, with a centuries old tradition of serving in the Tsarist military. Our great grandfather Yakov was a high ranking general in the Russian cavalry, as no doubt his father, grandfather, and great grandfather before him were as well. So it was probably to be expected that our grandfather Vasily would himself become a cavalry officer.

Grandfather Captain Vasily Front Right (in Cavalry Boots) Fighting the Bolsheviks

Unfortunately the grandparents passed away before we were ever old enough to appreciate their background and history. Our parents professed to know little about it. So we had the dream of traveling to Russia some day to research our family history and possibly even visit the estate outside of Moscow that our family supposedly came from. Our dream finally came to fruition this past year.

We first visited Russia in 1980 during the darkest days of the Leonid Brezhnev era when the bad old Soviet Union seemed so immutable and unchangeable. Researching Russian archives? Don't even think about it. We went back in 1989 during the heady days of Perestroika, but still faced insurmountable obstacles to accomplishing any actual research on family history.

Moscow's State Historical Museum, Established 1894, With Russian Genealogical Archives

Things are different now. For one thing, money talks. With a little grease we found a willingness to unlock archive doors that previously had been closed to westerners. Plus, it didn't hurt to have a Russian last name. For a month, every day except Tuesdays (for some reason never fully explained to us the museum is closed Tuesdays) we were at the door when it opened at 11:00 am and worked uninterrupted until closing at 7:00 pm.

Meet Dmitry, One of the Moscow State Historical Museum's Archivists

After about three days at the museum, one of the museum's archivists, a jovial chap named Dmitry, invited us to his apartment after closing for drinks. Dmitry called himself an archivist. We would consider him a glorified file clerk. But free drinks? Sure. Drinks at the hotel bar were seriously overpriced. The next evening, he invited us back to his apartment. For a business proposition he explained. Turns out, for the right price, he could provide us historical Russian artifacts to purchase. And even arrange to ship them home to us. Yeah, sure. We really weren't all that interested in commencing a life of crime this late in our lives.

Well, he knew we were legitimate historians (Ph.D. History, University of Idaho, 1993). Plus we could read Russian. How would we like to look at some old Russian documents? Never before seen by western eyes. Just declassified by the Russian government. Might turn into a subject for a book some day. Okay, we couldn't resist. What would it hurt to look?

Most of the material was dry as dirt. Пятилетнего плана Лима Бин Производство в степи Казахстан. Five Year Plan for Lima Bean Production on the Kazakhstan Steppe. Give me a break! Then there was Теория и практика Радиотелеметрия Наблюдения в Узбекистане. Theory and Practice of Radio Telemetry Observations in Uzbekistan. We were beginning to entertain serious doubts about Dmitry. Then came a box labeled Комитет государственной безопасности (КГБ). We just about choked on our кофе (coffee, that is). КГБ in English is KGB. Committee for State Security. The Soviet Secret Police. The outfit that Russian President Vladimir Putin belonged to during the bad old Soviet days. Now we were getting somewhere. We decided it was worth a hundred Euros to get Dmitry to open the lid of this box for us. Euros only. Bastard wouldn't even take dollars.

Old KGB Headquarters Building in Moscow. Home of Lubyanka Prison

The material we saw mostly dealt with KGB operations in East and West Germany and Western Europe. Contracts. Contacts. Lists of this and that.

But one file we pulled out of the box was labeled Сумка проекта Чай. Project Tea Bag. Tea was and still is the Russian national drink. After vodka. When Dmitry saw the file he visibly blanched. Apparently he had some familiarity with Project Tea Bag. He insisted we put our iPhone away and not take any photos of this particular file. We called out to have a pizza delivered before closing. Then Dmitry locked his office door and we sat up all night drinking frozen zubrovka and reading the Project Tea Bag files. By the time the museum opened in the morning the two of us were in pretty sorry shape but we had one hell of a story to tell. Amazingly Dmitry went back to work while I literally crawled across Red Square back to my room at the Hotel Rossiya. I collapsed into bed to vodka-addled dreams of FSB (Federal Security Service, successor to the KGB) agents kicking in the door to arrest me.

To get all the lurid details you'll need to buy the book we're planning to write about this Soviet era operation. Suffice it to say the operation had the three essential ingredients of a blockbuster spy novel: Sex. Drugs. Rock N' Roll. But we'll give you a teaser here.

During the 1980s the Soviet Union was bleeding out from its ill-fated invasion of Afghanistan. Led by the doddering old fool Leonid Brezhnev the empire was on its last legs. Anyone not in the time warp of the Kremlin could see it. Including a high-ranking KGB officer by the name of Vladimir Putin. Yes, that Vladimir Putin. A group of reformist Soviet officials including Putin realized the days of the Old Soviet Empire were numbered. They needed to act fast to neutralize the United States as a threat to Russia. Working with leading scientists and behavioral psychologists at Moscow's Ivan Pavlov Institute they concocted a plan they called Сумка проекта Чай, Project Tea Bag.

The scientists developed subliminal messages they would embed in contemporary American television commercials. These messages would inculcate a deep seated hatred of government in the television audience which the Russians hoped would lead to a popular uprising in America. The behavioral psychologists believed it would take twenty years for this subliminal messaging to take its desired effect. Give or take. Working through government financed Russian holding companies in the West, the Soviet officials began orchestrating ad buys in the mid-1980s, with the final ad buys in 1989. Unfortunately for them the Soviet empire collapsed sooner rather than later. Only decades later would the Russian officials come to realize just how effective Project Tea Bag really was.

With some research we were able to identify a few of the commercials the Soviets concocted. See if you can spot the subliminal messages in these Soda Wars commercials from the 1980s.
(Not to worry. You'd need to watch these continuously over an extended period of time to fear becoming a raving lunatic.)

Not surprisingly no one in the Kremlin would respond for comment to this story. While we were in Moscow we managed to track down one of the former Soviet researchers responsible for these commercials. He responded that the group never really expected Project Tea Bag to amount to much. They thought that the subliminal messaging concocted by the behavioral psychologists would result in adherents taking such radical and absurd positions on political questions of the day that no one would ever take them seriously.