Putting the Pagan Back in Christmas

Put the Pagan Back in Christmas! You too can join our Hyacinth Macaw Parrot Princess Tara's War on Christmas. Every time you take a drink of your coffee, tea, or whatever, with her first ever Happy Holidays War on Christmas 15 ounce two-tone coffee mug.

Princess Tara Happy Holidays 15 Ounce Coffee Mug
by TheParrotCafe

Art, Science, and Mystery of Coffee Roasting

When we started roasting coffee we didn't know first crack from second crack from second fiddle. And trying to find help on the Internet was hopeless. So we created our Coffee Roasting Tip Number 1 video explaining just what first crack was.

However we continued to get questions about second crack, and how to tell when first cracks ends and second crack starts. From experience we can say figuring out second crack was not an easy thing. Coffee roasting is as much art as it is science.

Hopefully our new Coffee Roasting Tip Number 2 video will help with this mystery.

What exactly is First Crack?

And What's the difference between First Crack and Second Crack?

And, just because we're The Caffeinated Parrot, Parrots!

Yes, you read that right. Coffee Parrot Dot Coffee. Handforged 100% Parrot Friendly Coffee. Any questions about coffee, coffee roasting, or parrots? Please contact us there.

Handforged 100% Parrot Friendly Coffee

Om Tare Tuttare Ture Soha. Blue Tara Blend

Not your momma's cup of coffee. CoffeeParrot.Coffee is pleased to introduce our first Medium-Dark Full City Plus Roast. Blue Tara Blend. The perfect winter brew. Perfect for winter. Great for summer. Best for breakfast, but for a coffee aficionado good any time of day. Handforged whole bean 100% Parrot Friendly coffee.

Blue Tara Blend

Brazil Fazenda Colina

Fazenda is the Portuguese word for ranch or plantation. Situated at an altitude of 3200 feet, Fazenda Colina is located in the Brazilian state of Minas Gerais. Fazenda Colina is one of the only wholly certified organic farms in the Cerrado region of Brazil. They have been certified since 2007. The farm is about 76 hectares (about 188 acres) in total with about 50 hectares of coffee trees. Along with organic certification, the farm has also been certified Biodynamic, which is a testament to their dedication to care for the nutrition of the soils, the coffee trees, and the environment. The flavor profile of dry processed Brazilian coffee beans is dominated by dried fruit. The Fazenda Colina bean is distinct in its balance and sweetness, while still bringing a characteristically strong body, dense mouth-feel, and low acidity. Fazenda Colina has a rich buttery aroma with dark chocolate and cherry notes, a balanced, deep taste, and a lingering finish.

Ethiopia Yirgachefe Bunna

Bunna is the Ethiopian word for coffee. The sweet flavors and aromas of Ethiopian Yirgachefe Bunna or coffee are its strongest assets along with a medium to light body. Ethiopian Yirgachefe is very spicy and fragrent, often with a slightly chocolate or nutty quality. Subtleties include notes of citrus or tangerine (which is why Ethiopian Yirgachefe is often preferred for iced coffee). Ethiopian Yirgachefe is known for its bright and shining acidity and clean taste. An array of sensual floral notes gives Ethiopian Yirgachefe a wonderfully bright complexity in its aromatic qualities. Often Ethiopian Yirgachefe will exhibit tones of toasted coconut. Also noted are cedar sensations which a background of caramelly chocolate. Coffee connoisseurs appreciate not only the delicate orange blossom fragrance of Ethiopian Yirgachefe but also its sweet and elegant finish that is typically very clean like the flavor. ​Ethiopian Yirgachefe is grown at elevations ranging from about 5,800 feet above sea level to 6,600 feet. Few of the world's finest coffees are grown at such high elevations as these Yirgachefes. The town of Yirgachefe is located in central southern Ethiopia in the Gedeo Zone named after the Gedeo people. The Gedeo region extends along the eastern escarpment of the highlands of Ethiopia.

8 Ounces, Whole Bean. Packed in reclosable stand-up foil valve bag. $12.00

Get yours from CoffeeParrot.Coffee. Your read that right. Coffee Parrot Dot Coffee.

Om Tare Tuttare Ture Soha

The Zygodactyl: Cannabis Butter Coffee

Seattle has long been the Center of the Coffee Universe, and now has become Cannabis Central after Washington State became only the second state in America to legalize recreational pot. So it only makes sense to marry the two. Pot and Coffee. Cannabis Coffee. We have created a coffee drink we're calling The Zygodactyl: Cannabis Butter Coffee. Here's how you make it:

Ingredients

2 cups of brewed coffee (While you're at it, might as well use the best 100% parrot friendly Red Tail Brand coffee on the planet from Coffee Parrot Coffee)

1 heaping tablespoon of Pot Butter*

Coconut Milk (NOT coconut water or coconut juice; Coconut Milk!) Coconut milk is the liquid that comes from the grated meat of a brown coconut. It should not be confused with coconut water. The color and rich taste of coconut milk can be attributed to the high oil content. Most of the fat is saturated fat. Coconut milk is a very popular food ingredient used in Southeast Asia. Don't worry about the calories. Life is too short.

Which brings to mind a coconut and parrot joke. Question: A monkey, a squirrel, and a parrot are racing to the top of a coconut tree. Which will get the banana first, the monkey, the squirrel, or the parrot? Answer: None of them, because you can’t get a banana from a coconut tree!

Sorry, but that was the best we could do.

Okay, back to making Cannabis Butter Coffee.

First, heat the container you are going to froth your coffee and pot butter in with hot boiling water. Dump the water.

Put the brewed coffee and the pot butter into a hot mug or hot blender. Wait 10-15 seconds for the butter to melt. If adding sweetener, add it before blending the beverage. Froth the coffee (either with a hand held frother or a blender).

Lastly, top with coconut milk. Serve immediately. Delicious iced or hot.

Bon Appétit! You might keep a bag of Doritos handy.

*Vary serving size according to personal taste and temperament.

Repurposing Those Old Coffee Mugs

If you're like us you probably have cabinets full of old coffee mugs. Once proudly holding your favorite cup of joe. Or tea. Now just collecting dust. What to do with your old mugs you just can't bear to part with?

Well, repurpose them. Repurpose. Verb.

To reuse for a different purpose, on a long-term basis, without alteration. Example: The town common was repurposed as a practice field.

Use your old but beloved coffee mugs to hold your kitchen scrub sponges or your kitchen utensils.

Still have mugs left over? Cook with them. In our never ending effort to simplify life we're searching for meals that can be prepared in a coffee mug:

Got any ideas of your own? Please share them with us. Best idea wins a TheParrotCafe.com tee shirt.

The Caffeinated Parrot

We are pleased to introduce CoffeeParrot.Coffee. You read that right. Coffee Parrot Dot Coffee. The new home of Red Tail Brand handforged 100% parrot friendly whole bean coffee, roasted to perfection by the Coffee Parrot. This has been a long journey from operating the original Parrot Cafe established in Seattle in 2003, to acquiring our own coffee roaster and operating a micro-coffee roasterie. Our new website CoffeeParrot.Coffee better reflects our current orientation.

Seattle's Original Parrot Cafe Located Near North Seattle's Haller Lake.

Our Behmor 1600 Coffee Roaster. How appropriate the Behmor nameplate sports a toucan!

Our first breakfast blend. Red Tail Brand Zygodactyl Blend. Celebrating the birthplace of coffee and the home of the rarest parrots in the world, including the Hyacinth macaw. Zygodactyl is one of our favorite words, and is a fitting descriptor for the prehistoric parrot species.

Our mission today remains the same as it was in 2003. Sell the finest organic, shade grown, fair trade coffee on the market. Organic tea, rare books and parrotphernalia as well. Come visit the Caffeinated Parrot and find out for yourself.

ParrotCafe.com Logo Featuring Spokesparrot Roxanne.

Blue Tara Brazilian

Introducing the first single source organic shade grown fair trade whole bean coffee handforged to perfection by the Coffee Parrot at TheParrotCafe.com. Brazil Fazenda Santa Ines. From the land of the world's rarest parrots, including the Spix's Macaw, The Lear's Macaw, and the Hyacinth Macaw, such as our very own Princess Tara. And yes, she is a princess. Her parents are a Duke and a Duchess.

Brazil Fazenda Santa Ines

Very sweet, bright coffee with hints of lemon and clove. Delicate texture and layered, complex taste. Fazenda Santa Ines is located in the municipality of Carmo de Minas in southern Minas Gerais at the foot of the Mantiqueira mountains. When the farm was acquired by the Sertao Group in 1979 it was already planted in coffee. Soon thereafter work began on planting more fields, building new concrete drying patios, and installing a washer, dryer, and processing machine. The Sertao Group is highly committed to environmental conservation, witnessed by the fact that it has preserved a large area of native forest on the property and protects all the mountain springs and creeks as well as the vegetation along their banks. Because of the topography, harvesting at Fazenda Santa Ines has always been done by hand, the cherries being collected on a cloth. This precaution is taken so that the coffee will not be contaminated or lose its quality. Once they are picked, the cherries are taken to Fazenda do Sertao, another partner in the Sertao Group, where they are washed, pulped, and spread out, always with a view to obtaining a high-quality product.

To purchase our handforged 100% parrot friendly Brazil Fazenda Santa Ines, as well as our other fine coffees, please visit TheParrotCafe.com. All proceeds from the sale of our coffee and other products benefits Northwest Parrots Fund, a 501(c)3 nonprofit charity registered in the State of Washington.

Playing With Fire: Mexican Cannoli

Cannoli are Sicilian pastry desserts. The singular is cannolo, meaning little tube. Cannoli originated in Sicily and are an essential part of Sicilian cuisine. In Italy they are commonly known as cannoli siciliani, Sicilian cannoli. Traditionally, cannoli consist of tube-shaped shells of fried pastry dough, filled with a sweet, creamy filling usually containing ricotta.

If you're a fan of cannoli, like we are, you might like to try this sweet and spicy variety we call Mexican Cannoli. Quick and easy to make. Sweet and spicy as you can stand to make it. We prefer mascarpone rather than ricotta.

Ingredients

Flat Bread or Tortilla Shells

Chipotle Peppers in Adobo Sauce

Mascarpone, Ricotta, or other sweet cream cheese filling

Spread the flatbread or tortilla with a generous helping of ricotta, mascarpone, or other sweet cream cheese filling.

Unless you like playing with fire, one chipotle pepper per cannoli should be sufficient.

Roll the flatbread (you might need toothpicks to keep them rolled), chill, and eat. Or just eat the damn thing! Keep a fire extinguisher handy.

Bon Appetit!

Coffee. Parrot. Coffee. Handcrafted 100% Parrot Friendly Coffee

We are thrilled to introduce our new venture, Coffee Parrot Coffee, a coffee micro-roaster featuring our very own handcrafted 100% Parrot Friendly Red Tail Brand coffee:

Like this shirt? Click on image to get your own

Up until now TheParrotCafe.com has been working with, and is still working with, a custom organic coffee roaster located in Eastern Washington's Spokane Valley to produce our 100% parrot friendly coffees. But we have always had the goal, ever since we entered the coffee biz a century ago, to roast our own coffee. We were thrilled this past summer to finally acquire our very own coffee roaster, a Behmor 1600.

Our goal as a specialty micro-coffee roaster is to produce 100% parrot friendly coffee blends under our Red Tail Brand label. We are striving to produce the finest organic, shade grown, fair trade coffee blends on the market. To this end we introduce our first breakfast blend called Zygodactyl Blend, a medium body Full City roast combining the finest organic, shade grown, fair trade Ethiopian and Brazilian coffees available, in homage to both the birthplace of coffee and the New World home of the most endangered parrots in the world including the Hyacinth macaw.

Ethiopia Nigusse Lemma Limu

Broad dark chocolate flavors, clean, sweet strawberry tones. This coffee is grown in the Deru Mountains in an area of western Ethiopia called Limu. This is a full natural coffee but is especially clean, uniformly roasted and gentle. With an elevation of 1850-2000 meters this is the highest altitude farm in Limu. There are a number of varietals growing on the farm with natural springs running throughout. The farm is owned and operated by the Nigusse Lemma family which has been in the coffee business for 60 years. The farm is covered in old growth shade trees and has an abundance of natural springs. There are multiple varietals growing on the farm, but many have not been classified, typical for Ethiopia. They operate their own dry-huller and use full natural processing methods by drying the cherries on raised beds.

Brazil Fazenda Santa Ines

Very sweet, bright coffee with hints of lemon and clove. Delicate texture and layered, complex taste. Fazenda Santa Ines is located in the municipality of Carmo de Minas in southern Minas Gerais at the foot of the Mantiqueira mountains. When the farm was acquired by the Sertao Group in 1979 it was already planted in coffee. Soon thereafter work began on planting more fields, building new concrete drying patios, and installing a washer, dryer, and processing machine. The Sertao Group is highly committed to environmental conservation, witnessed by the fact that it has preserved a large area of native forest on the property and protects all the mountain springs and creeks as well as the vegetation along their banks. Because of the topography, harvesting at Fazenda Santa Ines has always been done by hand, the cherries being collected on a cloth. This precaution is taken so that the coffee will not be contaminated or lose its quality. Once they are picked, the cherries are taken to Fazenda do Sertao, another partner in the Sertao Group, where they are washed, pulped, and spread out, always with a view to obtaining a high-quality product.

You can purchase our Zygodactyl Blend and other fine coffee, tea, and parrotphernalia by visiting our online coffee shop TheParrotCafe.com. All proceeds benefit Northwest Parrots Fund, a 501(c)3 nonprofit charity registered in the State of Washington working to save parrots, one parrot at a time.

Red Tail Brand: Zygodactyl Blend Coffee From TheParrotCafe.com

Up until now TheParrotCafe.com has been working with, and is still working with, a custom organic coffee roaster located in Eastern Washington's Spokane Valley to produce our 100% parrot friendly coffees. But we have always had the goal, ever since we entered the coffee biz a century ago, to roast our own coffee. We were thrilled this past summer to finally acquire our very own coffee roaster, a Behmor 1600. Our goal as a specialty micro-coffee roaster is to produce 100% parrot friendly coffee blends under our Red Tail Brand label. We are striving to produce the finest organic, shade grown, fair trade coffee blends on the market. To this end we introduce our first breakfast blend called Zygodactyl Blend, a medium body Full City roast combining the finest organic, shade grown, fair trade Ethiopian and Brazilian coffees available, in homage to both the birthplace of coffee and the New World home of the most endangered parrots in the world including the Hyacinth macaw.

Ethiopia Nigusse Lemma Limu

Broad dark chocolate flavors, clean, sweet strawberry tones. This coffee is grown in the Deru Mountains in an area of western Ethiopia called Limu. This is a full natural coffee but is especially clean, uniformly roasted and gentle. With an elevation of 1850-2000 meters this is the highest altitude farm in Limu. There are a number of varietals growing on the farm with natural springs running throughout. The farm is owned and operated by the Nigusse Lemma family which has been in the coffee business for 60 years. The farm is covered in old growth shade trees and has an abundance of natural springs. There are multiple varietals growing on the farm, but many have not been classified, typical for Ethiopia. They operate their own dry-huller and use full natural processing methods by drying the cherries on raised beds.

Brazil Fazenda Santa Ines

Very sweet, bright coffee with hints of lemon and clove. Delicate texture and layered, complex taste. Fazenda Santa Ines is located in the municipality of Carmo de Minas in southern Minas Gerais at the foot of the Mantiqueira mountains. When the farm was acquired by the Sertao Group in 1979 it was already planted in coffee. Soon thereafter work began on planting more fields, building new concrete drying patios, and installing a washer, dryer, and processing machine. The Sertao Group is highly committed to environmental conservation, witnessed by the fact that it has preserved a large area of native forest on the property and protects all the mountain springs and creeks as well as the vegetation along their banks. Because of the topography, harvesting at Fazenda Santa Ines has always been done by hand, the cherries being collected on a cloth. This precaution is taken so that the coffee will not be contaminated or lose its quality. Once they are picked, the cherries are taken to Fazenda do Sertao, another partner in the Sertao Group, where they are washed, pulped, and spread out, always with a view to obtaining a high-quality product.

You can purchase our Zygodactyl Blend and other fine coffee, tea, and parrotphernalia by visiting our online coffee shop TheParrotCafe.com. All proceeds benefit Northwest Parrots Fund, a 501(c)3 nonprofit charity registered in the State of Washington working to save parrots, one parrot at a time.

Out of Africa

Coming Soon

Featuring Our Congo African Grey Parrot Arua

We are followers of the Prophet Kaldi, the goat herder who lived in the ancient Kingdom of Kaffa, now Ethiopia. Kaldi discovered the Tree of Life, the Coffea arabica or coffee tree. Legend holds that Kaldi noticed that his goats became energized after eating a certain berry. Kaldi sampled the berries with the same effect. In his excitement he sought to have his discovery blessed by a Muslim holy man. Instead, the holy man tossed the beans into a fire in disgust. The subsequent enticing aroma caused Kaldi to create the world's first cup of coffee after recovering the burned beans and dropping them into hot water. To pay homage to Kaldi we've been searching for the perfect Ethiopian coffee. Not finding anything on the market we like we created our own brand! We have a distinct preference for Latin American coffees, but this Ethiopian coffee is the exception.

Coming Soon

RED TAIL BRAND

ETHIOPIAN COFFEE

So when you have your first cup of coffee of the day, bow to the East and praise the Prophet Kaldi, the discoverer of the Tree of Life! And while you're drinking your Ethiopian coffee, be sure to Wear Your Yellow!

Ethiopian Coffee FC Sports Club Jersey 2-Sided Tees by TheParrotCafe

Diva Parrots, Blue Tara, and Happy Places

100% Parrot Friendly Coffee from TheParrotCafe.com. All proceeds support the work of Northwest Parrots Fund (NorthwestParrots.org), a 501(c)3 nonprofit charity registered in the State of Washington, saving parrots one parrot at a time!

Organic Fair Trade Kosher Certified

Diva Parrot Happy Place Blend is a full-bodied dark roast blend comprised of the highest quality Organic Fair Trade Kosher Certified coffees South America has to offer. All the beans are 100% Arabica, and each varietal was roasted separately to it's own unique flavor profile prior to blending. This blend brews up beautifully as espresso, French Press, or drip coffee. It is a mouth-filling coffee with hints of smoky chocolate. So when things seem out of control just take a deep breath, pray, chant, and brew up some of this Diva Parrot Happy Place Blend, and you too can slip away to your Happy Place!

Organic Shade Grown Fair Trade

In our humble opinion Blue Tara Morning Dew Blend may be the finest breakfast blend on the market! Blue Tara Morning Dew Blend is comprised of the finest Organic, Shade Grown, Fair Trade 100% Arabica coffees Sumatra and Central America have to offer. The Sumatran coffee is Grade 1 and was grown on small 3-5 acre farms in the Gayo Mountain region. Grown in volcanic soils and minimally processed, this Sumatra is a full-bodied, earthy coffee. The Central American coffees are Strictly Hard Bean (SHB), meaning they were grown at high elevations, in this case over 4500 ft. They are shade grown coffees that ripen slowly yielding a dense bean structure, firm acidity, and intense floral aromas. Blue Tara Morning Dew Blend is a blend of dark and medium roasted coffees, each varietal roasted separately to its own unique flavor profile prior to blending. This coffee is extremely full-bodied. On the palate it has floral notes with hints of nuts and chocolate.

To find these find coffees, teas, coffee essentials, and parrotphernalia, please visit TheParrotCafe.com.

Blue Tara

TheParrotCafe.com is thrilled to announce the release of our updated label for our same great coffee, Blue Tara Morning Dew Blend. 100% Parrot Friendly, Organic, Shade Grown, Fair Trade. The Blue Tara Blend label features our Hyacinth Macaw Princess Tara.

Princess Tara really is a princess. Her parrot parents are a Duke and a Duchess! Proceeds from the sale of all the fine coffee from TheParrotCafe.com support Northwest Parrots Fund, a 501(c)3 nonprofit charity registered in the State of Washington.

In our humble opinion Blue Tara Morning Dew Blend may be the finest Organic, Shade Grown, Fair Trade breakfast blend on the market! Comprised of Sumatran and Central American coffees, this blend is complex and robust, roasted to different roast levels prior to blending resulting in a medium/dark roasted coffee that is so full of flavor it will knock your socks off! This coffee is extremely full-bodied. On the palate it has floral notes with hints of nuts and chocolate. 

Scratch and Sniff

We love technology. Almost as much as we love coffee. Our computers and smart devices can accomplish wonders. They can tell us where to find the best coffee, even if they can't brew the coffee for us. Just yet. So we're thrilled to offer our new Scratch and Sniff app:

It's simple. Just scratch the images on your screen, and sniff the wonderful coffee aroma, freshly roasted for your enjoyment!

Can't smell it? Be sure to go into your Control Panel and turn off your computer's aroma blocker. Most computer's come set for maximum aroma blockage. You'll need to adjust your levels for the optimal aroma experience.

Still can't smell it? Then apparently your computer comes permanently blocked. Then your only option is to just order the darn coffee from TheParrotCafe.com. We guarantee you won't regret it.

Blue Tara Morning Dew Blend Coffee

We are thrilled to introduce our new line of 100% Parrot Friendly triple certified Organic Shade Grown Fair Trade whole bean coffee, available exclusively from TheParrotCafe.com.

Triple Certified Organic Shade Grown Fair Trade

In our humble opinion Blue Tara Morning Dew Blend may be the finest Organic, Shade Grown, Fair Trade breakfast blend on the market! Comprised of Sumatran and Central American coffees, this blend is complex and robust, roasted to different roast levels prior to blending resulting in a medium/dark roasted coffee that is so full of flavor it will knock your socks off! This coffee is extremely full-bodied. On the palate it has floral notes with hints of nuts and chocolate.


Did we mention this coffee is available exclusively from TheParrotCafe.com? The proceeds from the sale of this and our other fine coffees benefit Northwest Parrots Fund, a 501(c)3 nonprofit charity registered in the State of Washington.

Click on shirt for all our great TheParrotCafe.com tees

Church of Kaffa: Praising Reason, Coffee, and Parrots

After posting our tribute to Garuda, King of the Birds and Messenger of the Gods, we decided to stay on our religion kick this weekend. Every god and minor deva needs a religion, and we've got one in offer: The Church of Kaffa. Worshiping the Elixir of Life, Coffea arabica, or just plain Joe to some people!

We admit it. We worship coffee. We also worship parrots. So we wanted to create a church combining worship of coffee, parrots, and enlightened reasoning, something in critically short supply these days. Needless to say, this is not something we just dreamed up this weekend. The Church of Kaffa has been around for some time, enjoying a very small but dedicated cult following on Facebook.

Coffee is truly the Elixir of the Gods, and the Fount of the Enlightenment! Certainly worthy of worship and a church of its own. Just the very nature of drinking coffee suggests you are probably not a Mormon or Seventh Day Adventist. Therefore already up the ladder of enlightenment.

Because it is becoming increasingly clear that coffee itself gave birth to the Enlightenment and lifted mankind out of the Dark Ages.

Just think about it: Before coffee and the Enlightenment, the drink of choice, morning, noon, and night, throughout the Middle Ages, was BEER! Peasants and masters throughout Europe were shitfaced drunk day in and day out! No wonder it took 200 years to build a gothic cathedral! People were too drunk to function.


Along comes coffee. Discovered in Ethiopia (we'll get to that story), coffee was traded to Yemen. By the middle of the Fifteen Century coffee reached Aden. One early coffee disciple, the Mufti of Aden, reported in 1454 that coffee drove away fatigue and lethargy, and brought to the body a certain sprightliness and vigor!


The Turks discovered coffee and opened the world's very first coffee house in Istanbul in 1554. Coffee was not well received by the conservative establishment. Conservative imams feared coffee's stimulating effects. Prohibition was instituted, but to little avail. The popularity of coffee among the masses was so great that the Ottoman Turkish Sultan Selim I issued a celebrated fatwa allowing the consumption of coffee!


Once established in Africa, the fabled merchants of Venice imported coffee to Europe. Venetian coffee houses became the first coffee emporia to jack up the price of coffee. Just as in Africa, the conservative establishment in Europe feared the stimulating effects of coffee and tried to ban the drink. Ultimately Pope Clement VIII in 1600 sanctified the use of coffee by Catholics everywhere, leading to the drink's acceptance across Europe.

Ottoman Coffee Server in Cairo

Come coffee, come the Enlightenment! Suddenly people had energy and vigor. Coffee houses encouraged thinking, writing, and the debate of new ideas. The Enlightenment was born! You get the gist of the story. We could go on and on. But don't take our word for it, even though we do have a Ph.D. in history. Read philosopher Stephen Hicks on Coffee and the Enlightenment.


Every religion needs its saints and devas. The Church of Kaffa certainly has its own. Starting with the King of the Birds and deva Garuda, and the prophet Kaldi.


Kaldi was a lowly Ethiopian goat herder, who in about the Ninth Century, discovered the Tree of Life, the Coffea arabica or Coffee tree. Kaldi noticed that his goats became unusually energized after eating a certain local berry. He sampled the berry with the same effect. Excited about this miracle, he rushed to share the berries with his local Muslim holy man, or imam. The holy man was so disgusted with the berries he tossed them in a fire and stormed away. Kaldi however noticed an entrancing aroma coming from the berries in the fire, so he recovered the burnt berries and tossed them in some water, thus creating the world's first cup of coffee. The foundation myth for the world and religion of coffee.

The Church of Kaffa boasts many other devas, all saints of the Enlightenment

Leonardo da Vinci

Charles Darwin

:

John Muir

Alex the Congo African Grey Parrot

Honest Abe Lincoln, the last honest Republican

Sojourner Truth

Mark Twain

Albert Einstein

Marie Curie

Sinclair Lewis

W.E.B. DuBois

This is just a quick short list. Intellectuals and elitists all. Even an intellectual parrot! Certainly others can be suggested.

So by now you're probably wondering: How do parrots fit into the Church of Kaffa? Well, when we're not drinking coffee, and even when we are, we're living and breathing parrots. We have eight of our own, plus we're constantly searching for new homes for unwanted parrots through our charity Northwest Parrots.

Parrots and parrot people are different. If you have parrots your friends and neighbors probably talk about you behind your back. You're probably know in your neighborhood as the parrot lady or that parrot guy. You have to be a bird person to like parrots. Cat and dog people just don't get the idea of birds. And parrots are as avian as avians get. Parrots are among the oldest of the avians. Parrot fossils have been found in Cretaceous Period rock dating back 55 million years. Parrots not only lived with the dinosaurs. Parrots are living dinosaurs. Parrots are one of the few species on Earth to survive the great Cretaceous extinction event.

Cretaceous Period parrot named Danish Blue in honor of Monty Python's infamous Norwegian Blue ex-parrot

Of all the avians, parrots are the most endangered, primarily because of their beauty and intelligence. Plus they can talk. Try talking to your cat, and see if your cat talks back! Parrots deserve a guardian angel as powerful as Garuda, King of the Birds.

Birds also figure in an alternate foundation myth for coffee. One account of coffee's origin involves a Yemenite Sufi mystic Ghothul Akbar Nooruddin Abu al-Hasan al-Shadhi (we just love Arabic names). When traveling in Ethiopia, the legend goes, he observed birds of unusual vitality, and, upon trying the berries that the birds had been eating, experienced the same vitality. The birds of course were feasting on the coffee bean.

And the name Church of Kaffa? Kaffa is the region in Ethiopia where coffee was first discovered by the goatherd and prophet Kaldi. Some believe that Kaffa is the root word from which the word coffee is derived. So, the next time you enjoy a cup of joe, turn to the East and bow toward Kaffa in homage to the prophet Kaldi, the discoverer of the Tree of Life.

Last but not least, every religion needs a Satan that embodies everything it stands in opposition to. Here's the embodiment of this church's Satan: